Note: This photo is from website.. not the one i have attended

A MARRIAGE TRIP

It was planned one and later thought I can not make it but it was GOD’s will that I had to attend Farhat’s Wedding so only I could make it. We were all eight members while going I could not catch the bus in jubilee bus stop went till MGBS (one more corner )at night all alone he he he I manage things all alone . Then a call from my classmate where are you? Finally when I reached bus stop there was no one. I was panic first then called them, they were busy in choosing the best MICROWAVE for Farhat. She is my MHM classmate who was very calm and quite girl most of them used to like her for her quietness. That’s all about Farhat.

Coming to Journey I was sitting in the waiting hall of Volvo corner then three of my gang came finally we got into bus I was very much exited after meeting all of them. Its been two years since I met them all at once missed my BEST FRIEND as she could not make it. Other wise we all could not sleep till 4 AM and 6AM we reached the place and settled comfortably in lodge then comes the part of sleeping we both girls along with me one more classmate had come so I had a girl company, we both slept till 9AM guys were really tensed as we both were in soundless sleep and did not pick up calls nor responded to the knock at the door. Finally I had to get up get ready to go to the marriage . Farhat was so happy seeing all. To tell you all this was my first Muslim marriage I have attended I was so keen to see what’s happening. Aslam came first they had to do everything later we decided to have our breakfast then madam Farhat Arrived in BURKA. She wore this for the first time.

Then we both girls went and greeted her and came and sat there were two stages I was turning to words Farhat but all my classmates were busy in pulling me. Then I felt very bad when Farhat started crying I was thinking why all this has to happen to girl alone ?? These questions are not answered by anyone life is all about changes.

After the marriage my gang got a wonderful idea of having snap together with both of them and they had a long discussion and finally agreed for the photo session. We had to proceed to the most awaited session of having lunch we finished that then all came to an end we had to leave the marriage hall as there were no interesting guys nor girls of our choices .. he he he just kidding .

We have decided to go to see the Gunnies book of world record entry Banyan Tree. It was 25 Km we went and saw that came back and saddest thing we all had to leave to different places I came back to HYD with another three and two went to Bangalore and one to Guntur .. But was nothing like a that wonderful moment which I can never forget , I had PAN there which ended up in giving lot of pain with a reaction .. Worth doing all that , had applied Mehandi also wow too good … My classmates were telling that they are all ready to attend my wedding but they need to wait some time for that .. So GUYS wait for my wedding you will get invitation after 2 years …But for now bless newly wedded couple and pray for their future…

A DAY FULL OF SURPRISES

It was too good to have many surprises on my Special Day. A special person remembered my birthday and called me at 12:05AM and sang song for me lovely it was really a big surprise then a message from a person, which was even more shocking and surprising. I was always thinking that the person does not know my contact number but GOD only knows how he got my number. The next one early morning my mom came from my place to be with me on my birthday wow that was amazing thing. It was like getting plenty of roses from some where. Then comes the next one my colleague from Dhaka has come down and called me on that day wished me. Then comes the exiting thing my sweetest friend called me up saying she is sending her friend as she could not make it, went down and saw the guy who was very busy in picking the sapota’s from the “PURE AND NATURAL” he wished me and some one from behind came with a sweet voice to hug me and wish me that was my sweetu wow she came to wish me and made my day a special one.. I must be very much thankful to GOD for giving me such a wonderful time on my birthday. But there is still one more left. Some one in hi5 has invited me and wanted to become a friend of mine that remind as a shock and surprise too.. Too many to write. I thank Almighty for such a wonderful time on that day. I can not measure how happy I was that day. To end with met another birthday boy who was my lecturer in my MHM he saw me on road but called me for dinner to join with their small family went and wished him .We both had pleasure of cutting the cake together always but this time we had chocolates he gave me many chocolates which I love . This was my birthday updates….Was it interesting or anyone felt boring I am sorry …But thanks once again for all your prayers which are making me lead my life in a wonderful way …

COMPROMISE:
An another name for leading life with out messsssssss!. What happens when we analyze life is we miss out the sweetest memories of life. We need to negotiate in the normal routine life also this negotiation process is between creator and mankind. Wow great na.

When we see in scripture readings, GOD told us not to be in such situation he asks us to have faith and hope in everything we do. Woooooooooooo but we always enrich ourselves with day to day problems.

I have an ideal personality in my life, who always used to build everything in air she is one who always believes there is nothing to compromise in life what ever may come. She (XYZ) is my classmate and was colleague for one year six months now hardly calls me that am there. But to tell you all she is one who always had a strong belief that things will come true.
When we were together my sweetu (my best friend) used to ask me why does things turn her side. At one point we thought she has some power. You know we both my best friend and me plan out everything when we are inside room and come out. We strongly make up our mind that what ever may come we are not going by her words that’s XYZ’s word but ultimately we land up in a situation where in we need to go by XYZ’s word ..So she is to larger extent believes in herself.

Thank you madam for making me realize that life is all about how we live not what is fate and not messing up things he he he he he he he really miss you at times . But she is very greedy and she is very insecure about certain things as we all know we have positive and negatives edges of us in life ,, hooooooooooo let all go and we be happy with out tears and only sweet smile on this face .. have a pleasant time

Now a days we are in so called modern era where in we make friends with out seeing him/her. One thing I used to always have in my mind before experiencing that kind of friendship. How do I trust a person without seeing? This was a big question mark all the time but still to kill the loneliness I have started chatting when I was working in Dhaka, the chat was to start with first family then relatives and then college seniors juniors then finally unknown . A fine day, one of my senior gave me one site to download so that he said he can chat through that. I had no clue as to what it was anyways yahoo was blocked for him so he asked me to download this and gave http also, first thing I had asked him I don’t have anyone slowly I was almost addicted to it and all my colleagues got used to that chat room and there was no recreation so everything was through chat. Slowly started knowing many people shared about me an my life and that was all fine. Till today I have the same question why do we trust a person so much?

I have an answer GOD who is the sole controller he will have his own purpose in doing things, so in that run we happen to be very emotional and get hurt also . I don’t know it is for good or bad some times what ever happens has to happen for some reason, we can not neglect or forego anything.

We are all social animals where in we need people specially after certain period of time our needs change and that’s when we start getting attracted to opposite sex persons there is nothing wrong in it because it is a natural phenomenon has to happen. I just came across a incidence which happen to my classmate, that people misuse what is existing. My classmate in PG she is topper in my class she had a friend who gave his details through chat and met her, she used to go around she is unmarried girl she is doc by profession. She suddenly came to know on a fine day that he was married and all the details which he has provided her were turned to be wrong. Imagine the trauma she must have underwent, he was married and had a kid too but still was trying to flirt around with a girl. Why does such thing happen? When are we going to change our thinking? These are all unanswerable it is all fun time for some one but they always forget that fun will give pain to the other person. There are many things happening now a days but this might be 50% the other 50% is that we are getting to know a person who will be life time friend some are turning to be partners too . We never know what happens but what ever happens happens for a cause …

HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE …

It is really difficult many a times when we can not think of anything. Certain instances make individuals feel really unhappy when we face situations we know the pain in it . There are different ways to deal the situation. There are people who deal situations on their own some are very much dependent on people. I think I belong to the second category. I really depend on people for every small thing. When I was with mom I used to think she can not keep anything to her self, yes my mom is one who has to tell everything to others I am not that kinds I will not tell unless I am close to people .Today I need to assess myself whether my dependence on that person is really going to make both our lives hell. I used to think all the time friends are those who stand besides what ever may come. I now realized too much of anything makes a person feel that this person is useless and start hating that person. It is we who make things worse in our life. Life is all about how we live, one should know how to live their life. Problems are part and parcel of life no one can avoid it but we can not really runaway from situations one needs to face it.

Last week My colleague came to me running morning morning saying do you know … she explained what has happen to her in the city bus, I told her that’s not the way to deal with such things and I felt it is silly why she is taking things seriously. Today I was in same position, mine was worse. I read sometime back in some article that some people are psycho and they do what ever they want it was proved today that it is true...

Today as usual I was in my second bus 47L to come office I was standing as it was raining outside continuously I am in the bus. After sometime the third stop that is Pantaloon stop came and the two girls who were sitting in the last seat(for women) got down I got place, getting place in the morning is really unimaginable anyways I was happy first thing that I got seat and the next thing I never realized that happiness leads to something else . There was place next to me a guy sat first he was sober I did not even look at him then after some time it was two stops before my stop he was trying to come close .First thought must be by mistake then I adjusted myself but still he was touching my leg . Horrifying thing after sometime he pulled my Jacket .I was scared for a minute I was thoughtless many things came into mind if I shout what happens and what should I do I just looked at him seriously then got up from seat and stood in the front as my stop was very near .. Why am I sharing this with you all is, Today’s generation is showing ways to spoil. He might not get anything if he touches me but one day will definitely come that day he has to answer GOD ALMIGHTY why he has done it. We are all human beings we can not become wild animals.

GOD bless his thinking of people and protect everyone who are having such thoughts so that they bring in the change which is really needed.. Thanks for hearing to my prayer oh lord ..AMEN

A MEMORABLE DAY

The whole issue started at 12:00AM last night. I had a fight with my so called dearest friend he told me I am irritating anyways I do agree many a times I irritate him a lot . Fine morning I woke up at 5:00Am as usual very nice girl na ha ha ha you are very wrong I just keep immersion rode and go back to my sleep again the same alarm rang at 6:30 AM so sad I got up got ready an came I was still angry with my so called dearest friend . I did not wanted to call him but what happened was I got in to first bus that was fine I reached the next station to get in to second bus there I found 47Z/C which is a new bus I asked the driver casually will it go through that he said yes . I was very happy and for the first time I got seat also what a pity na . I opened my great novel and settled in my seat the conductor came he asked me ticket I told him my stop and he stretched his hands to words me for money I gave Rs.100/- he denied he said you get down or give correct change . I was stubborn I did not wanted to get down again in the sunny road I need to stand he came back again and said the same and sadly he asked the driver to stop the bus and asked me to get down . This I never faced I was still stubborn but because of me the people who are there already in the bus have to suffer so I got down and called my dearest friend he was so angry picked my call after 6 rings and asked what ? . I told him this he said what should I do . I claim he is my dearest friend right but he does not feel the same and I SMS ed him the same and went in to a pan chop showed a pitiable face that fellow gave me change and thank GOD I am in office now .. I pray god that no one should face such things because of any situation.. THANKS FOR READING THIS..

LIFE IN HYDERABAD

I have joined a TPA (Third party administration ) in health care insurance it is nice and it is new .It is been 18 days since I am working for this organization . I think professional life will be better as I will be working here on many things. To tell one thing life is really busy after I joined here I realized life is not so easy as I was thinking. Some times I feel I don’t have time for myself. BUS journey is something to be explained at large where as the buses during the morning and evening the preferable time to show how much strength one has got. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha it is really worth traveling in fully flooded buses in Hyderabad wow amazing. What more I can tell about life here. In this organization they are training me in many things wonderful part is I will be doing accounting part of the work that is called “Re-conciliation” Now I am at the preliminary stage of work where as I am doing primary analysis which is really worth doing it I am really enjoying the time . The time passes just like that morning I report sharp at 8:45AM and evening I leave by 5:40PM God only knows how time passes in between. My sis is so sweet and concerned about me morning she gets up for me and asks me whether I had breakfast or not and she goes back to sleep cho chweet na . Anyways that’s all one side of it and the other side is I am enjoying things and I have applied for a course in Symbiosis University but sadly they have given admission in some other course . I had applied for PGDCRM (Post graduate diploma in customer relationship management ) but they gave me PGDBA( postgraduate diploma in business administration) so sad na pray for me . I am not getting time to speak to university people also about this . Lets see how things turn out …. That’s from me now rest all in next blog ……

LIFE IN INDIA
LIFE IN INDIA

Life is all about learning every moment. One fine day something happen where in me and my dearest sister went on a long drive it was about 100kms from Hyderabad, we were sad but GOD made that drive safe and memorable in all the ways.

After coming from Dhaka life in India was bit tough and it was all about solving problems at different ends. Professional life and personal life was tough. It was impossible to cope up with the routine as I had every minute a different angle of it I am still on JOB HUNT which is difficult time in life .

I had faced enough and I am just waiting for the will of GOD to happen in my life. Keep your prayers for me I need all of your prayer support to be strong in life...THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS...

HARD TO SAY GOOD BYE ...

Director nursing services here is leaving tomorrow early morning. I went to meet her now, it is really sad she was very close to me. She was almost like my friend who used to mingle so well in that age too .
We have done shopping together many times I love being with her, normally we say old aged ladies are hard to manage but she is not like that, very friendly she is not that old aged kinds. She calls me darling darling all the time. She was with me for the past one year 2 months all the time she used to just come for any help.

I had taught her computers for some time she is leaving now. Life is all miracles we meet many some become close but we need to leave them all some time or the other. I wish and pray for her so that she should be healthy and she should reach home safe.
LOVE U MAM MISS U...

FRIENDSHIP....

A relationship which starts with trust. We can not say everyone is my friend, I have seen people saying everyone my friend my friend . If they are friends then what happens every one on earth is a friend for us na .
Good that we are all friends in life we have different categories like relatives family friends and family friends ... the list goes on and on .. Take a second think you are in a dire need of a person whom do you bow upon if u really want to, he is your true friend . I am not telling you that only person who helps you is your friend but I am trying to tell you that u trust him the most and he value you the most.
In relationships I have seen one will be most expressive and one might not even say even he/she feels that but only that right person can understand their feelings. Friendship is very precious we need to treasure it when we have it with us . I have seen set of people till now. I can dare to say few are my best they love me the same but one thing again and again remember do not expect anything from anyone just give what ever you can . When we expect we might get disappointed at times.
I would want to tell one thing here I have got few friends whom I can really relay till my death but I am the same for them too. I must have hurt them , they must have hurt me but we understand more when we hurt each other. That trust and understanding is more important than anything be the same all the time. Remember friends when u are happy and sad too and remember when u pray every morning they need your prayers..
LOVE THEM AND RESPECT THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE...

MARRIAGE -A BONDING

I was just thinking about this today, it is a bonding which brings in two different people together and makes them start a life all together new. Many must have told me many versions of marriage the life after marriage will be different for everyone. As we experience things some face many obstricles and some really loose things and they almost scarifies things for the other person.

Like any other relationship this is also one which makes two people of different ideas and thoughts together so that they live for each other the rest of life happy. We have different customs to celebrate a wedding but all customs we make the bride and groom make an oath in front of the lord and gathering that they will lead the life for each other.

When we have bitterness sorrow when we have broken heart the other person will always remain there with us. Some people really enjoy the company of each other. Some just live for the family and because of any reasons. If we look at the positive end of it is after some age we will realize if not today that GOD had purpose in making life a success so only he made man and women together the saying we all know "Marriages are made in heaven " why is it like that he decides who will meet whom for the rest of life.

The man and women needs to control each other support each other and live the life happy. When I attend the wedding I observed many things where in more concentration is given to a girl and the moment she comes in we get up and sing a song for her the pastor goes and brings her she have flower girls around her, if we think why so, she is leaving her life and coming in to a man's house forever she has to make up her mind to live with a different person for the rest leaving family where she had her small dreams and wishes coming true all the time.. I really do not know might be for that reason girl is given importance.

Girl needs to do many things , first of all she needs to understand the new atmosphere where she has come to live in and all the more important her husband who is everything for her and she needs to be responsible and always she should welcome things . Many instances I have seen girl is being blamed when some dispute comes or anything happens , there are instances where such issues happens but life is not so easy mentalities frequencies might not match but one needs to understand others in many ways . A lady can make the family and break it also ... So it is all for girls who so ever is reading and specially for

Dr.Tripti make your life memorable one hope and pray you have a very beautiful and ideal life with Dr. Satosh . MAY THE BLESSINGS BE AROUND YOU AS YOU ARE NOW AT THE WEDDING CERMONY....

JASMINE
The moment we hear about this the smell just touches , This is a seasonal flower which is very precious for many people, I have seen ladies dying for this flower , I suddenly one day found a tree full of flowers and plucked daily and used to keep in my room as natural smell will be there all through the evening . U do not believe how many ladies in my room asked me where do you get this from , till today i did not reveal them where I am getting this ....

People just need that info there won't be tree, forget about flower. I know for sure, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... U know some challenged me also that they would find where is this tree and from where iam getting but poor thing they could not ...

I donot like to pluck flowers but the only flower i pluck is jasmine because we need to pluck it and pluck the leaves as well during the starting of the season , used to do a bit gardening with mamma so know few things...

Small description for those who does not know about this flower and what is all about.....

It is a small white flower with a pleasant fragrance. Jasmine is used as a decorative flower for all occasions. Indian women wear this flower on their hair. It is weaved in length with the help of a thread. In North India, some communities use this flower to cover the face of the bridegrooms. Jasmine is grown and marketed in various parts of the country

SELFISHNESS................

BIRTHDAY BABY.......

Tomorrow that’s 06.06.06 is my sweet little sisters birthday she is in a city which is prospering in all the ways “Hyderabad”. She is lovely sister we are not really sisters, I have never seen her, met her. Hope I can in future, she has a very sweet name TEJA.BOLLU. She has successfully finished her schooling and entered in to +1 with lots of enthusiasm and hopes. I know very few things about her but I can tell she is one who has got guts to challenge and make things happen. I wish u all the best TEJA as you have promised something with papa , hope and pray that should come true and keep up the name BOLLU always .... Only small prayer to my heavenly father is to supply her all the wisdom and be with her as she is going to make her future now. Support her help her in all the ways possible so that she makes up all her hopes and dreams of her’s to come true . Bless her abundantly oh lord i give u all the glory as u are blessing her. Bless the family oh lord be there with them all the time give them everything they need Amen. Here comes your birthday cake directly from cooper’s (one of the best bakers of Dhaka). Take it and be blessed all the time. It is your day make it memorable. LOVE U..... WITH LOTS OF WISHES SHEELA. BOLLU

Note: count how many roses are there it should be 16 if less ask ur dad to add more

IMPORTANT TO REALIZE THINGS AT RIGHT TIME....


In life it becomes so important to realize one's mistakes. But what if time has passed away. We may do things in a hard way but we never realize things many a times our stubbornness stops us. I had a classmate of mine who was my internship mate and became colleague after coming here.

She used to love me so much, which I never used to care I had hurt her so many times but when I was in Delhi one night I thing around 8:00PM she had cried so bitterly for me just because I was not talking to her I did not care that time also then we left that place I mean Delhi. We both got chance to work together again I was not talking as usual but here and there I had a reason why I did not talk with her.

I can tell one thing probably I did not realize that it is not a big issue, nor I failed to make her realize that it is nothing. Times has passed away she was here with me one year. I will never see her anymore but I felt bad for the first time. She made an attempt to speak twice before leaving I was very stubborn I am hurt. I can not tell she is bad, she is not bad she had her prayers for me always. I wish her beautiful future...

As we swim this life we face lot more but ask Almighty for help donot harm anyone donot even think of harming someone .

I want you all to realize we are human beings we live very short period of time leave stubbornness’ and forgive others so that our sins will be forgiven. I need to say a word that I forgive her and i will continue to pray for her future. May GOD give her all the happiness in life and give her a good JOB which is more needed now GOD will prosper you ...TAKE CARE... BE SAFE

STUPIDITY LEADS TO PROBLEMS...

All of a sudden something happens which will mess up whole thing. Gets in the distance between people which was never there. I have good friends who are very nice but I really do not know how to treasure what I have I feel.

Mistakes are mistakes but I have one only question for GOD "You do not want to forgive me GOD" I hope things come back the same I can not imagine anything of that sort. I can not reveal the exact incidence happen here but I seek only your prayer support who so ever happens to read the blog.

We all do mistakes but repeating mistakes is painful, I do understand but what happens is life is so unpredictable we never know things could really change a person and take that person away from one who always used to claim to be BEST FRIEND. So sad I do not have any words to say now.

I would want to make one point very clear please realize mistakes and try not to repeat those, this message is for me also which is one I need to remember all the time till I live here . I do not know what’s going to happen but Almighty will never leave us alone that is for sure so he will take care of the situation and he will make people realize things. Hope that happens soon ... Keep smiling have a nice time...

A GOOD SUPPORTER....

One fine day that is on 7th of Jan 2006 met a person who was very serious kinds and came to know that he is from a land full of water problem any guess . Hay he is from Tamilnadu . He studied his engineering appeared his the post graduation exams his semester results are expected soon lets pray so that he meets his fixed target 70% and above.

He is very matured personality , loves blue colour to tell about him one blog is not enough he is one who used to support me a lot , I used to ask him to come online and voice chat with me he never said no to me infact he tried to adjust his time. He has not asked anything from me except that he wants me to choose a pucca veggie bramhin girl for him ha ha ha ha ha funny na I am a pure non-vegetarian. He loves two Hindi songs those are Kajrare from Bunty Aur Bubly and one more jhalak dhiklajaa from Aksar. Imagine a Tamil guy who is forcefully learning Hindi now enjoys Hindi songs this is for your information.To my surprise today he spoke in telugu too wow.

He is so nice I can not tell u, gave me so cute cute names gundus , lollu and what not we talk in Tamil , I can manage and he understands my language. He is one person in my life who sent a message when I was in a dire need of a person he sent one evening can I fly in the next flight to see you in Dhaka that was so nice I can not tell u how comforting it was wow so nice of him. One great thing is where ever he was in these 6 months he never lost touch with me through some means he was updating me about his wareabouts . I want him to get married soon to an understanding girl.

He is one of my best friend who has supported when I was falling back and when I was really going zig zig in graphs , as on today I must have hurt him so many times but to tell u the truth he never even tried hurting me . He is such a wonderful friend of mine. He asked me one day to give my recipe of sambar hope he tried that recipe some time he he he he he he ... I hope one day I can meet him soon.

GOD my only prayer to you for my friends where ever they are keep them safe and away from all the troubles and help them teach them what to do and how to go about with the problems they have present(if any). I surrender them to you o lord take care of them keep them happy all the time supply everything they need.. Keep them smiling all the time...

RELATIONSHIPS ....

This blog is for u all who supported me in many ways , days have come very near .We never know we must have met so many people . We must have developed so many kids of relationships and some amount of understanding , but we need to leave everything no one comes with us till end except our loving lord...

When i look back my life in gist I have not done anything I feel I have done mistakes but many have taught me so many things one friend of mine keeps reminding me that I need to learn from my mistakes . We need to first understand and try to have control to accept the mistake and learning part is for longer run where in we need to put full stop to the mistake by learning and by not repeating the same .

Many have come in to my life in many forms many have told me many things but when I sit back and think what have I learnt from them and what did i make them learn from me ? I have no answer guys be stable don’t go imbalanced . We have lots of worries , be stable when u take a decision because that decision might just change your life in many ways . Sit cool and think and try to get solution for yourself instead of searching here and there because people have got lots of opinions on the same incidence as you alone know the pain you are going through.

I know we all have a great strength in our lives lets take help from him he is just at your door knocking, just seek him he will rule and he will solve all our problems . He is our Almighty.

Do not give anyone so much of importance more than you in run you will feel bad and time must have just gone back . You see everything for momentary but in long run only our family will be there . Think they have got lots of trust on each one of us they think about us so much they love us so much . Lets see life in a different view lets do something different so that we will make things better if not best ...

The first fruit which i did not like ??????

The fruit i had after coming here many i have tasted after going to new places as usual but this fruit i did not like and one my friend last night was talking about his fruit he likes it so much , i saw here also people go mad for that fruit it is so called costly fruit in this land itseems , but we get plenty here .....

Fruits are good and i love fruits a lot except papaya which has got high values but i donot like that what to do? hay fruits are healthy eat well and stay healthy all of you ...

HERE IS SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THE FRUIT SEE ....

Origin: The lychee is native to low elevations of the provinces of Kwangtung and Fukien in Southern China. Cultivation spread over the years through neighboring areas of southeastern Asia and offshore islands. It reached Hawaii in 1873, and Florida in 1883, and was conveyed from Florida to California in 1897

Adaptation: Lychees require seasonal temperature variations for best flowering and fruiting, Warm, humid summers are best for flowering and fruit development, and a certain amount of winter chilling is necessary for flower bud development. Most varieties need between 100 and 200 hours of standard chilling (32° - 45° F). Cool winters with low rainfall are ideal for lychees. The trees become more hardy as they age. Mature trees have survived temperatures as low as 25° F when fully hardened off. Young trees may be killed by a light frost. Lychees can be successfully grown in frost-free coastal areas of California. There are trees in San Diego, California that are over 90 years old with no sign of decline in sight. It first fruited in Santa Barbara in 1914. They can be grown for a short period in a large container.

HOW IMBALANCED ONE CAN GO....

At times life just goes up and down as though it is so hard to live up to that. Mind says something heart says something else, life is not so simple as we live, daily we face many incidences some makes us feel good some makes us feel why are we living which are really bad at times .

Satan always makes u feel frustrated when we have everything also we want more and more which even that person can not experience and feel what exactly they want . GOD be there at my side when I fall and loose my self confidence. GOD why at all something happens to me? You want to make me strong but GOD I am loosing strength in many ways why father be there for me. I want you to rule me I want u to take in charge of things so that I can be balanced .

I am in pain lord I seek u with my whole heart come in to my life lord . This is the time u need to do everything for me , u be at my side and guide me what to do. I can not tell anything more than this lord be there for me father ....

U know everything Oh my father take things under your control so that i will be at peace I need u lord I am in dire need of u .. understand me ...